Lasagna
The living room/kitchen of a comfortable family town house.
In the oven, something is cooking.
JOHN sits alone, seething. Glass of wine in hand.
SARAH enters. She is taken aback by John and enters very quietly.
SARAH Evening.
JOHN Morning.
SARAH (She checks her watch) Horrible out there.
JOHN Well it is winter…
SARAH Feels like it’s been raining for weeks. (Pause) Where’s Kiera?
JOHN It’s one am. I tucked her up, she was out like a light.
SARAH I’ll go check on her.
She goes to leave.
JOHN It’s late.
SARAH What?
JOHN Where have you been? It’s late.
SARAH Out.
JOHN Out where?
SARAH The pub.
JOHN Which pub?
SARAH The Chester.
JOHN Oh really? Who with?
SARAH Work.
JOHN Ah. Out. With. Work. The classic.
SARAH The classic what?
JOHN Oh, you know.
SARAH (Pause) Smells good.
JOHN That’ll be the lasagna.
SARAH You made lasagna?
JOHN I was hungry and thought I’d wait up for you. Should be read by now. (He gets the lasagna from the oven) Hungry?
SARAH No, thank you.
JOHN Eaten already?
SARAH Yes.
JOHN At the Chester? But they don’t serve food.
SARAH I ate before.
JOHN Well then you must be hungry.
SARAH I’ll think I’ll just go to bed.
JOHN Come on, have a bowl. I’ve been slaving away for hours. (He gives her a bowl.) There. Try that. How is it?
SARAH Hot.
JOHN But it’s good, no?
SARAH Very nice. What meat is it?
JOHN Just some left over stuff. Wine?
SARAH No, thank you.
JOHN Come on, have a glass of wine with me.
SARAH You shouldn’t be drinking.
JOHN I know I know, but I just had one of those days, one of those god awful rip your fucking eyes out days, so I just thought fuck it I’ll have drink or three.
He pours her glass and tops up his own. He drinks his in two swift gulps.
SARAH Everything okay?
JOHN Hm?
SARAH Everything okay?
JOHN Okay? No not really no.
SARAH Why?
JOHN Well like I say, I had a terrible day. Truly terrible. Murderous in fact. I lost about two hundred for my new client and didn’t manage to strike a deal with Lloyds which means I’ll be under observation from Martin for the whole next quarter and if there’s one cunt I don’t want observing my every move for the whole next quarter, it’s Martin.
SARAH I’m sorry.
JOHN That’s fine. Nothing to do with you. Just me. All me. As always. You know I was on the train this morning on my way to work, as I am every morning, squashed up against the wall like a fucking fish with all those people around me just staring into emptiness, or worse with their eyes glued to their phones like they’ve found the fucking the Messiah or something, and I thought: this isn’t it. This isn’t life this isn’t living, this is fucking slavery with ringtones. We might as well be packed below the deck of a ship en route to the cotton fields cos at the end of the day it’s the same difference and you can play all the fruit fucking ninja in the world but one day you’ll have to look up and see it all for what it really is. So I was thinking this on the way to work and then I had this day, this abhorrent day after which I was pressed up against the side of the train again on the way back from work again with my face against the cold glass again, and I decided to quit.
SARAH Quit?
JOHN Yes I decided to quit my job. Life’s too short to spend your whole time chasing numbers and cash for fat cats who’d throw you under a bus in a blink as soon as a younger, more attractive underwriter came along. So I thought I’d take a break from work, go hiking in Machapichu or hitch across America like I’ve always wanted. You wouldn’t mind would you? If I left for a while? It’d only be for a month or so. Til I’ve got my head in order.
SARAH You’re leaving?
JOHN Just for a month or so.
SARAH Well, I mean this is a huge decision.
JOHN Yes it was a huge decision and I made it quite swiftly. But it was all over before I knew it. Perhaps one day I’ll look back with regret. Maybe even tomorrow in the clear light of day I’ll look in horror at what I’ve done. But it felt like the right thing to do at the time. I’ve spent the last five years banging my head against the wall and today I decided I’d had enough. You were right. I need a break. So I handed in my notice.
SARAH What’s going on?
JOHN I told you, everything is fine. In fact I feel quite upbeat about… well about everything. It’s like I’ve purged something. I’ve expelled it all in act of catharsis.
SARAH How much have you drunk?
JOHN Oh just a few after work.
SARAH You’d been doing so well.
JOHN Well not really. I mean I hadn’t had a drink in almost a year but I hadn’t been doing well by any definition. And like I say, it was an awful day amongst awful days so I got home, picked Kiera up, put her down and headed out to the pub.
SARAH You left Kiera?
JOHN In a manner of speaking, yes.
SARAH Which pub?
JOHN Funnily enough the Chester. Yes it’s odd I didn’t bump into you. Very, odd. What time were you there?
SARAH Where?
JOHN The Chester.
SARAH Erm… can’t remember. Why, when were you there til?
JOHN Uh uh. I asked first.
SARAH (Pause) I can’t remember.
JOHN Oh come on. Ball park figure. Five? Six? Seven?
SARAH I’m not sure.
JOHN Well you’ve arrived home at one and it’s only up the road, how long do you think you were there for? An hour? Two hours? Three? Four?
SARAH John -
JOHN All your colleagues were there. I asked them where you were and they said you weren’t coming and that you’d gone home. So I came home but you weren’t here either.
SARAH I arrived late.
JOHN Ah of course. You arrived late. From where?
SARAH I went for a walk. I had a bad day too and I needed to clear my head.
JOHN You went for a walk?
SARAH Yes.
JOHN In the torrential rain? (Pause) You know we’ve been together for how long now?
SARAH You know how long.
JOHN No tell me I’ve forgotten.
SARAH Six years.
JOHN Six years! And you still think I won’t notice when you lie to me?
SARAH I’m not lying.
JOHN Oh come on!
SARAH Okay okay, just don’t shout. Christ. I’ve been meaning to tell you.
JOHN (Pause) So tell me.
SARAH I don’t know how to put this. I’ve been feeling, stuck and, stifled over the last year and… I really was going to say something I just never found the right moment and…
JOHN And?
SARAH (Slowly) I’ve been seeing someone.
JOHN Ah. Yes I thought as much. I thought it might be something like that, something along those lines. Who?
SARAH You don’t know her.
JOHN Her? My God, you really are full of surprises. You never told me you were... that.
SARAH It’s complicated.
JOHN I’m sure. Who is she?
SARAH We met online.
JOHN Where else.
SARAH It’s only been a few months. John, listen, I’m sorry.
JOHN Sorry?!
SARAH I am sorry. But you drove me to this. Everyday is a chore. Everyday. You need some help, John. You haven’t been well and it’s impossible living here with you when you’re like this.
JOHN Don’t you try and turn this on me! I’ve been working my arse off bringing in everything to this house for you and your fucking daughter and you’ve been off doing… that.
SARAH I’ve been trying to help you. I’ve been telling this to you for the past eighteen months but you don’t listen.
JOHN You’ve been trying to help me? How?
SARAH I booked you into that therapy group. I made an effort to pick Kiera up from school so you could focus on your work. I took her away at the weekends to give you space. I did everything I could possibly think of to give you what you needed to feel better but you’re still unhappy. You’re sick John. It’s depression or something worse, but it’s eating away at you and I can’t handle it anymore. It’s turned you into… something else, something I can’t bear to even look at. And I know I did love you one day but now it’s gone. There’s nothing left inside of me that wants any more of you. I’m leaving. I’m leaving and I’m taking Kiera.
JOHN (Long pause) You’ve hardly touched your lasagna. Here have some more.
SARAH I’m fine.
JOHN No come on.
SARAH I’m full.
JOHN I insist.
SARAH John!
He tries to force a spoonful into her mouth but she pushes him away and he stumbles to the floor.
SARAH Get off me!
JOHN You disgust me.
SARAH Look at you! Look at what you’ve become! I’m getting Kiera and we’re leaving.
JOHN No you’re not.
SARAH Yes I am. I’m taking our daughter. She’s not safe here in this house with you anymore.
He slowly returns to his feet.
JOHN Our daughter? She is not my daughter so let’s all just stop pretending that she is.
SARAH She’s as good as.
JOHN But she isn’t though is she? Really. I mean, technically speaking. For all intents and purposes.
SARAH Either way, we’re leaving.
She goes to leave but once again he erects a verbal barrier.
JOHN You know I never did like her much. Kiera. I always thought she was a bit – oh what’s the word? – recalcitrant.
SARAH What?
JOHN Disobedient. An insufferable little brat. And the wonderful thing is I take no responsibility for her being that way. She takes after her mother, and maybe even a bit from her father but what would I know?
SARAH I’ll take her tonight.
JOHN No you won’t.
SARAH I will John.
JOHN I’m afraid that simply won’t be possible.
SARAH Try and stop me, but if you lay a single hand on either us I’m going straight to the police.
JOHN Oh I promise I won’t try and stop you. It’s just that you might not find Kiera up in her room.
SARAH What? Where is she? What have you done?
She runs off in a frenzy.
John picks up her bowl of lasagna and finishes it.
She enters in a fit of panic.
SARAH John where is she! What have you done with her? Answer me!
JOHN I told you, I tucked her up, nice and warm and she was out like a light.
SARAH What?
JOHN Good night my love. I’ll see you upstairs.
He forcibly kisses her.
JOHN (Exiting) Mmm that is the nicest lasagna I’ve made in a while if I do say so myself.
SARAH John where is she?! Where is she?!
She approaches the remains of the lasagna in horror.
Curtain.